This is Not my Idea
by TheCastleOfLionsAndPaladins
Summary: Edward and Roy are the "heirs" to the thrones of their previously warring countries of Xerxes and Amestris respectively and it's their job to get married to ensure ever lasting peace. There's just one problem with that; they hate each other. Can Alex and Riza work their magic in time to save the peace? Let's hope so, for Ed and Roy's sake as well as their countries'.


**AN: I watched a video with this song and I swear to Gate, I couldn't stop laughing! So, what do I do to get myself to calm down? Why, I write a fanfiction based on it of course! A rubbish fanfic, but a fanfic none the less.**

 **Based on this video: This Is My Idea (RoyxEd Shounen-Ai) by Zackifrass on Youtube**

 **Song: "This Is My Idea" from Disney's The Swan Princess**

 **Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist**

 **Pairing: RoyEd**

 **World: Prince/Royalty/Fairy Tale AU.**

 **Casting:**

 **Edward: "Princess"/"Female" Protagonist**

 **Roy: Prince/Male Protagonist**

 **Maes: Squire/Best Friend of the Male Protagonist**

 **Riza: Bodyguard/"Mother" of Roy**

 **Armstrong: Uncle/"Father" of Edward**

 **Song lyrics will be** **underlined!**

 **WARNING! IF YOU DON'T LIKE ANY OF THAT STUFF, PLEASE LEAVE NOW!**

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, the Kingdom of Amestris and the Republic of Xerxes were at war with one another. The two countries were at constant war with one another and all the people were getting tired of it. There was sadness and hatred in both lands-

But enough of that! Let's get to the point!

One day, the Chief Ambassador of Amestris, one Berthold Hawkeye, decided that his best friend, the rich Queen, Rony Mustang, needed to end this war.

And what better way than with a peace treaty signed with marriage?

He met with one of Xerxes' Ambassadors and got to meet the current President, a muscular man named Alex-Louis Armstrong, who agreed that the fighting should end and offered up his nephew, one Edward Elric, in marriage to the Prince of Amestris, one Roy Mustang.

Berthold, Rony and Alex-Louis all agreed on the terms and decided that every summer, Edward would spend it in Amestris with Roy so they could have some time to get to know each other better.

If only they'd know all the trouble that would come with this.

* * *

6 years after his birth, Roy Mustang, the Prince of Amestris and next in line for the throne, sighed.

"Riza, do I really have to marry this Edward guy?" Roy whined to his bodyguard.

One 18-year-old Riza Hawkeye, who had taken over her deceased father's position as an Ambassador/Bodyguard, also sighed, "Roy, as the Prince of Amestris, it is your duty to go through with this. I've heard you say it all before; you don't like boys in that way, you wanted to be with a girl and have lots of other girls hanging off your arms when you were all grown up, but your mother already decided that you're gonna marry Edward. Just try to be nice, please."

Roy pouted again and looked outside the castle window, "It sucks to be me." He caught his reflection in the window and started admiring himself, "But of course, it doesn't suck to look like me. Handsomeness like this is hard to come by these days. That Edward guy is lucky to have me."

"Yes he is." Riza agreed, while internally screaming, " _You self-absorbed little shit. Heaven help Edward, I would really hate to be in his shoes right now._ "

* * *

5 years after his birth, Edward Elric was fidgeting in his seat and looked up at his intimidating uncle, "Uncle Alex… do you know what Roy's like?"

Alex-Louis Armstrong, with his ever present sparkles, grinned at his nephew, "I've heard he's a very bright young man; he even knows how to do Alchemy."

"Really?!" Edward stopped fidgeting in his seat in the cart and smiled, "I can't wait to meet him! Do you think he's as good at it as me?"

"Maybe he is; I've never actually seen him perform Alchemy, so I have no idea." Alex stated, then smirked, "I also heard he's a foot taller then you."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY?!"

* * *

A young and excited look out named Kain Fuery fan-girled and danced around when he saw President Alex-Louis' coach approaching, "Oh, here they come, here they come, tehehehehe!"

Fuery went to blow the horn to announce their arrival, only to find it was blocked. He blew and blew until he was blue in the face and finally, a sound-and a bird family-came out of the trumpet. As soon as the trumpet stopped sounding, Alex stepped out of his coach, his nephew behind him and waiting for them was Riza and Roy.

"President Armstrong!" Riza saluted, "It is an honor to be in your presence, sir!"

"Why, no need to be so formal with me, young Miss Riza!" Alex cried, "Please, just call me Alex!" Alex then pretended to take notice of Roy for the first time as Riza dropped her salute, "Oh and who might this handsome young man be? Prince Roy I presume."

"You presume correctly, sir." Riza nodded and then looked towards the cute young boy peeking out from behind his uncle, "And you must be the infamous Edward Elric, am I right?"

Edward peeked out once more and tried to fight his shyness when he saw the woman his uncle called Riza smiling softly at him, "Yes, that's me, ma'am. You can call me Ed."

"Ed, Alex, it is an absolute pleasure to have you in our kingdom with us." Riza stated and gave Roy a pointed look, "Isn't it, Roy?"

Roy sighed, board already, but knew that if Riza gave him that look, he had to do it if he didn't want a bullet flying by his face. And he really couldn't have that; he'd be scared to death and white hair really didn't fit him at all! How would he attract the ladies if he looked like an old man?

Edward had very different thoughts in his head. Roy didn't look like a horrible person; maybe a bit self-absorbed and conceited, but wasn't everyone these days? Besides, he was an Alchemist and Alchemists weren't horrible people. Edward should know, he is one.

So, the two walked up to each other, Roy sulking and Edward fidgeting.

Since this was his kingdom, Roy had to start, "Hello Edward Elric, I'm very pleased to meet you."

Though that wasn't a good first impression, Edward decided to put up with it and bowed to the Prince, "Pleased to meet you, Prince Roy."

Roy nearly turned around and ran right then and there, but when he felt Riza glaring at his back, he knew he had to finish this… even if right now Edward looked like a total suck up.

Roy grabbed one of Edward's hands and cringed; it was so dainty and soft, it was like a girl's! A guy shouldn't have hands like that!

Edward glared at him for cringing and Roy sighed; he kissed the blonde's hand, let go with a "yuck" and whipped his mouth, pouting.

" _I can't believe I'm stuck with him all summer,_ " Roy thought, " _I'll bet he doesn't wrestle, hunt or box!_ "

" _He looks conceited._ " Edward thought.

" _What a total bummer!_ " Roy internally complained.

And right in sink, they thought, " _If I get lucky I'll get chicken pox._ "

"So happy you could come." Roy offered a fake smile.

"So happy to be here." Edward also faked a smile.

" _How I'd like to run…_ " They thought.

Then, Edward sighed and managed out an awkward, "This is not my idea…"

Roy snapped, "This isn't my idea-"

"Of fun!" The two finished and turned from each other, arms crossed and pouting.

Riza and Alex sighed; they had their work cut out for them.

* * *

A little while later, while Roy and Edward were fighting each other like other boys their age would, Riza and Alex merely watched.

"The children seem to get along quite nicely." Riza smiled, relaxing a bit now that Alex had convinced her to have a tiny drink. Or three.

"We'll join are lands if this arrangement lasts!" Alex grinned.

"My dear President Alex, that's my point, precisely." Riza pocked him, playfully.

"It's such good parenting!" Alex cried tears of joy.

"And politics." Riza whispered, then said more loudly, "So happy we agree!"

"I think we've got a deal!" Alex agreed, shaking her hand.

"Roy is quiet a catch…" Riza's voice went a bit pitched when she tried to go for opera, but then her voice fixed itself, "This is my idea…"

Alex cried tears of joy, "This is my idea-"

"Of a match!" The two finished and shook hands.

The two then held their respective heir back from trying to kill each other; Edward was screaming about being called short and Roy was yelling back that he was the handsomest in all the land and that Edward was lucky to have him. Yes indeed though, these two stubborn children will have these two adults sweating buckets and growing grey hairs a few years early, but it would all be worth it in the end.

Hopefully.

* * *

For every summer after that for 13 years, it was always the same song and dance.

Over in Xerxes, Armstrong would say, "Good heavens child, don't dawdle! We can't keep Roy-Boy waiting!"

From his balcony, Edward sighed and looked down at his uncle in distress, "I haven't packed or washed my hair and Uncle I get travel sick!"

* * *

Meanwhile in Amestris, Riza walked into Roy's room, "They soon will be arriving…"

But when she saw Roy holding a bow and arrow and firing them at a picture of Edward, she cried, "Is that respect you're showing?!"

"You make me kiss his hand again, I swear I'm gonna be sick!" Roy hissed and fired an arrow right at the picture's head.

* * *

As soon as they thought the boys were out of ear-shot, Armstrong whispered, "One day Prince Roy will be Ed's intended."

"Splendid!" Riza squealed.

Roy, who had heard this, cringed like all hell.

* * *

A little later into the next summer, Roy sang as he and his best friend Maes slid down the stairs, "We've tried all summer, but we just can't lose him."

"Hey fellas, wait up!" Edward cried, sliding down the stairs after.

"Quick! Put on some speed!" Maes called.

As soon as they were outside and heading for the tree-house, Roy carried on, "When picking teams-"

"Or friends-" Maes cut in once they were safely in their hangout.

"I never choose him." Roy complained.

"You'd think he'd take a hint or learn to read." Maes held out the window a sigh that said 'No Short People Allowed'.

Edward was fuming, "This really isn't fair!"

"We really couldn't care." Roy and Maes sassed.

"Jerks it's all or none…" Edward sang, kicking the support beam of the treehouse.

And the whole thing came tumbling down.

* * *

"This is not my idea…" Edward trailed off, leaving Amestris with his right arm and left leg in casts and a bandage around his head.

Roy and Maes, who were also in bandages and casts sang, "This isn't my idea-"

"Of fun!" The trio finished.

* * *

When in the castle and in the land, the people would sing their story out for all the world to hear.

"Long before they met," The people of Central in Amestris would sing, "Roy and Edward. Were destined to be wedded"

"However anyone could see," The maidens of Liore would sing, "The only point on which they didn't disagree"

"Was that the very thought of summertime," The servants in the Xerxes presidential estate and Amestrian palace would sing together, "Was dreaded!"

And the people couldn't be more right, no matter how many years passed.

* * *

As Edward smirked at Roy with a mini-skirt in hand, the older teenager sighed, "He tries to talk me into playing dress up. He's always flirting with the castle staff."

Roy fumed when he saw Edward was once again talking to some of the maids, which didn't go unnoticed by Maes, "I bet you really sorta like him, 'fess up."

"I'd like him better if he'd lose at cards." Roy snarled.

"Wait." Maes held up a hand and the music stopped with the sound of a radio scratch, "so you do like him?"

"I don't know. Do I act like I like him?"

"Yes, yes you do."

"Shut up, Maes, I was being sarcastic."

"You like Edward-kun, how adorable! This is good news for everyone else in the kingdoms!"

"I thought I said shut up."

"You like Edward, you like Edward! Haha, I can't wait to be your best man at the wedding! I am going to be your best man, right?"

"Not if you don't shut up."

"Oh and are you guys going to adopt an heir? I mean, yeah you can't have one since you're both guys, but who cares about that?"

"Hughes, if you don't fucking shut up and let the damn song carry on, I will burn you to a crisp!"

"YIKES!"

* * *

"Four sevens and a ten." Roy sang in his next game of cards against Edward.

The blonde smirked, laying down his own cards, "I think I've won again."

"Every time he's won!" Maes and Roy cried out, Maes standing behind Edward's chair where he'd been helping Roy cheat.

"This is my idea…" Edward sang out, smirking smugly.

"This isn't my idea!" Roy and Maes snapped.

"Of fun!" They finished, Edward turning around and smirking at Maes.

* * *

During the summer, the people of both lands would sing of the day when the two boys would start to like each other.

"We need a royal wedding," Central city men and women would chant, "I'd love to be invited!"

Resembool men would cry, "At least we'll get a holiday to rest our picks and axes!"

Young girls across both countries would sing, "Someday, these two will marry."

"To learn to be united!" The boys would grin.

"And with some luck their marriage may result in lower taxes." The adults would whisper between each other.

* * *

Things started turning sower however during a bitter cold winter. Both countries were being threatened by their neighbor Drachma, which worried most of the military officials. Except Alex and Riza, who were too busy with Roy and Edward's romance to care.

"What if Edward doesn't go for the merger?" Alex wrote in a letter of worry.

The two adults had schemed that perhaps if they left the two horny, teenage boys in a room alone together, they'd eventually just do something!

Riza only wrote back two words, "URGE HIM!"

* * *

The war with Drachma lasted 4 years; short compared to many wars before it, but still relatively damaging to both sides. Xerxes eventually managed to make a peace treaty possible and after Alex, Riza and Drachma's chief of military signed it, the war was over. But deep scares had been left on many a people who'd fought or sat on the side-lines.

Even Edward and Roy hadn't been spared; they'd actually been on the front lines for most of the war. And neither of them came back the same.

Edward had lost an arm and a leg in the war. Roy an eye. Both nearly died more times than they could count. They'd matured and become battle hardy warriors, rather than just pretty little heirs. They'd been scared emotionally and needed the love and support of their best friends to get them out of the rut they'd been in.

But they'd both survived; which meant they'd still need to spend summer stuck with each other now. Both of them declared they almost wished another war would start up just so they'd never have to see each other's faces again. Almost, being the key word.

Truth be told, the two rivals had missed one another during the war; that horrid certainty that they'd always see each other again soon that had once kept them grounded was gone and they'd been scared some night by the nightmares their imaginations had conjured up.

Roy would often have nightmares of Edward's corpse screaming at him and demanding why Roy let him die, a bullet wound visible between his eyes.

Edward would have nightmares were Roy would be standing beside him and then a mine field would blow up, leaving Roy without a few limbs and bleeding to death right before his eyes.

Of course, the two young adults were too proud to ever admit such a thing and still hated each other's guts.

"For as long as I remember, we've been told we'd someday wed." Edward and Roy sang, Edward being shoved into a carriage by Alex and Roy being dragged out of bed, "Every June until September-"

"All their pushing and annoying hints." Roy groaned, being pulled out of the bathroom by Riza.

"I've got bruises with their finger prints." Edward complained, getting forced into the palace.

Roy was shoved into a room, the door closing behind him, "I can do much better, I am sure."

Edward was also shoved into the room, the door closed before he could blink, "He's so immature!"

For a while, the two just stood in the room, backs to each other, but then, they slowly turned and found themselves staring at each other, eye to eye. And since they hadn't seen each other since before the war, it was quite a shock.

Roy had always been right, it seemed; he grown up and looked handsome as a devil, even with the tacky eye patch. If anything, it made him look hotter (not that Edward would say or think that out-loud) and Roy looked like anything but a boy.

Edward had grown up a bit as well, obviously; his chubby face had completely melted away and become a broad and handsome face and he saw a bit of metal peeking out from his shirt sleeve and glove. Edward was no longer a boy; he'd become a man and Roy was very pleased with the result.

The two began to smile without even realizing it and advanced towards each other.

" _I see him smiling and my knee starts bucking,_ " His real right knee at least, " _I see inside him and my doubts are gone._ "

Roy was really there; annoying, cocky, bastardly, asshole Roy Mustang and Edward had never been so happy.

" _He started out as such an ugly duckling,_ " Unlike Roy, who'd once thought he'd been perfect since day one, but was proven wrong today, " _and somehow suddenly became a swan._ "

Edward would kill him if he knew he was thinking like that and Roy would have welcomed the blow; it would have proved he wasn't dreaming.

"So happy to be here." Edward recited. And he actually meant it.

"' _Till now I never knew…_ " Roy thought, too stunned to speak.

The two silently asked themselves, " _Was it you that I've been dreaming of…_ "

Roy finally found his voice, "Missed you, shrimp."

Edward didn't care about the jab at his height, he really couldn't bring himself to care, "Same to you, bastard."

This is where they belonged; jabbing each other and knowing they were both safe and sound and oh God, this wasn't a cruel dream that their imagination had come up with on a blood drenched battle field as they tried to handle to weight of all the lives they'd taken. This was real.

" _This is my idea…_ " Edward thought, happy to know it was finally, finally over, for real.

" _This is my idea…_ " Roy was just as happy as Edward was, if not, more so.

From their place on a balcony, watching the two interact, Riza and Alex were dancing in happiness, "What a good idea, such a charming and romantic notion!"

"This is my idea, such a good idea," The maids who'd been listening by the door were echoed by the butlers, "This is my idea, such a good idea."

"What a good idea," The cooks gossiped, "such a powerful and magic potion!"

The whole Amestrian palace was in chorus, "This is exactly my idea," from the garden, "of," to the towers, "love…"

Edward snorted, never losing his smile, "They sing as if we can't hear them. Damn gossip; travels faster than the flu and it catches way too easily."

Roy grins, "Perhaps; I'm just glad you're really alive, Fullmetal. That old nickname really suits you now, huh?"

The blonde snorted again, "It's as fitting as hearing you say something like that is weird, Flame." Edward actually laughed, "The only thing weirder would be if I admitted that I missed you."

"Yes that is a bit weird," Roy agreed, inching closer, "but you know what? I don't care because you usually say things you mean, especially when it comes to your emotions, that's why you don't talk about them all that much."

"I take it that's Mustang talk for, 'I missed you, too'?" Edward looked Roy right in the eye, standing barely a foot away from him, "By the way, I'm not a shrimp anymore," _-love-_ "so you can stop calling me that."

Roy smirked, and took it one step closer, so they were close enough to feel each other's warmth, "I don't know, I'm still a few inches taller then you." _-and longer then you, probably._

Edward grins and Roy feels his heart beat pick up speed, "You're gonna regret saying that, asshole."

"Oh, am I?" Roy lifted his only eyebrow, playful, "Do tell me, Fullmetal, how will you make me regret it?"

"I'll" _-cock block you tonight, ass-_ "use a technique that has been passed down the Elric family line for generations." Edward jokes.

The two start snickering and then, full out laugh because everything's okay again, everything's finally okay again and neither of them will ever take these days for granted again.

Never again will they forget how important to each other they are. Because...

" _This is my idea..._ " Edward thought in silence, once the laughing stopped.

Roy stopped laughing too and admired the blonde, " _This is my idea..._ "

" _This is my idea..._ " The two inched forwards, " _of..._ " they held one another tightly, " _love..._ "

* * *

 **AN: What do you think, guys?! Too cheesy, too rushes, too annoying? Tell me, tell me, tell me please! Thank you all for reading this, you're all very beautiful people, I love you all very much and I wish you a wonderful day!**

 **Sayonara!**


End file.
